7 Ways We Keep Church Hoppers from Staying
Reposted from Brian Jones.com
I think two of the most dangerous influences any church faces are: (1) Spiritual leaders who have lost their first love and (2) the onslaught of church hoppers. Having wavered before in my faith and flirted with losing my first love with God, I know firsthand how dangerous the first one can be. But that's something we spiritual leaders have control over. The second one...not so much.
I call church hoppers “connoisseurs of fine churches” because they’re continually on a quest to find the church that is spiritual enough for them, will endlessly engorge themselves on the “services” of the churches they attend, and always have a critical word to say afterwards whenever “church” doesn’t meet their standards.
Here are seven things we try to do to keep church hoppers from wearing out their welcome.
#1 Ask church hoppers to commit to tithing and serving in your 101-201-301 classes
That usually takes care of it right there. Because church hoppers are consumers by nature, anything that strikes them as sacrificial will surely turn them off. As a ministry friend of mine used to tell me, “At the first sign of trouble, raise the bar.”
#2 Tell your people to stop inviting their Christian friends to church
This past Sunday I may have been one of the few pastors out there that stood up and said, “Please DO NOT invite your Christians friends to our Easter services. We want other churches in the area to know we have their back. Also, we want to grow this church through conversion growth, not transfer growth. Let’s pack this place out with people who are keeping God up at night because they are living far from him.” I strategically do that 3-4 times a year.
#3 Preach short sermons
Howard Hendricks used to say, “Keep them longing, not loathing.” I buy into that philosophy. I try to speak anywhere between 21 and 26 minutes max. That drives church hoppers nuts because they want to “be fed.” I’m not interested in “feeding people” unless they are in the early stages of their spiritual journey. Church hoppers as well as Christians further along their spiritual journey need to be feeding themselves. Anything I provide on Sunday morning should be in addition to their own self-directed spiritual nourishment. One point, one scripture, 21-26 minutes, that’s enough.
#4 Don’t sing 9,345 worship songs
Church hoppers, 9 times out of 10, came from a church background where they were taught they needed 5-6 worship songs to really connect with God. That needs to be re-taught. Where did we get the idea that worship = singing anyway? That’s part of it, but only a small part of it. Every part of the service is worship. Every part of my life is worship. Limiting your worship songs except for occasions when you are led by God to expand the repertoire forces people to recognize this or leave.
#5 Keep your services short
We keep our services to 55 minutes, period. That’s it. That’s because we believe “church” is more than the official service that happens on a Sunday morning. It’s what happens before, during and afterwards. It’s what happens during the week when 2-3 gather. Experiencing a well-conceived 55 minute service to the church hopper is like spending your whole life overeating and then sitting down for a healthy, well-proportioned meal that someone else serves you. “Hey, I’m used to eating 16 pieces of fried chicken for dinner and 8 servings of bread! Why do I only get two? Waah.”
#6 Eliminate Christian “insider” language from the way you talk on the stage
The fact that I say “Leader” and “forgiver” from the stage drives church hoppers nuts. “You meant to say ‘Savior and Lord,' didn’t you?” At issue is an old mission’s word called “contextualization,” which basically means we need to speak in the language and culture of the hearer, not the speaker. The Greek word “kurios” doesn’t mean “Lord” in 21st century American idiom. Your old Bible translation from 50 years ago may read that way, but people aren’t talking that way today. Challenge your “insider” language and watch how church hoppers and their friends file right out of your services.
#7 Sing Non-Christian songs in your services on occasion
This past weekend we opened our service with Jet’s “Are you Gonna be My Girl?”
On Monday I promptly received an email about it…
This past weekend, I could not believe my ears. When worship opened up, I heard the opening chords for Jet’s- "Are you going to be my girl?" I was expecting the Apologetix parody version, “Are you gonna be Ike's girl?”
But in listening to the lyrics it sounded like they were covering the actual Jet Song – a song about figuring out how to get a one night stand, for a girl who came to some club or party with another guy.
I am hoping that I was mistaken and they were playing the Christian Parody version because I am having a real issue with wrapping my head around why it would be remotely ‘OK’ to play this content in a worship service.
There is a line between having a light fun service to reach the new/non-believer and cheapening the value and truth that the gospel can stand alone to reach out to someone. This may have crossed it.
Frustrated…
Name Withheld
Here was my response…
Frustrated,
I got your email and appreciate you taking the time to shoot me your thoughts.
I must say that while I appreciate your concern, this is certainly not the first nor will it be the last time we sing non-Christian music in our worship services.
We do this because we are trying to reach both non-Christians as well as Christians in the same service, and playing a non-Christian song up front in the service, we have learned, puts people far from God at ease.
Our philosophy has always been that Christians should be the ones that should be made the most uncomfortable in church, not the non-Christians. The way I put it is this -- we will always choose to offend the Christians before the non-Christians.
Seeing that you are frustrated, and given the fact that I talked with a bunch of people far from God on Sunday who loved the energy of the song and felt connected to the service because of it, it appears that we have achieved our goal.
My suggestion is this -- weigh carefully whether or not you want to be a part of a church that sings music like this, and plays difficult to watch video clips, and a host of other things to reach people far from God. If not, then now would be the time to look for another church before you put down roots too deep.
If on the other hand this is the kind of church you want to be a part of, I would welcome you to join in with everything you have and start reaching out to people far from God.
I hope this helps.
Thanks!
Brian
Church hoppers can be a lethal bunch, so don’t make them too cozy. However, and I’ll blog about this at another time – please remember that God can also be leading some of those people to your church too. But that’s a post for another day.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
POP GOES THE CHURCH
"Would your community be any different if your church disappeared tomorrow? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you ever considered it with others at your church? If your church suddenly disappeared, could the community even recover? Or would they go on as though nothing at all had changed?
What is happening at your church that is worth talking about? When people leave your service, are they thinking about the e-mails they need to send and the football game they want to watch—or are they thinking deeply about their own choices and thinking how they might make a difference in some one's life this week?
Sadly, for most of us, the answer is a resounding “no.” We didn't even have to think that long about the answer. Our church is great for our friends, our family, and us, but there is little measurable impact on the community. There is little happening that is making a difference outside of the few dozen or couple hundred who regularly attend.
Wouldn't it be great if a local church had a vision big enough to capture people's hearts and motivate them to action, so it had an impact on the community? Wouldn't it be awesome if a church was so effective people began following Jesus, growing in their faith, and as a result, the community was being loved and served?
I love the way John 1:14 is written in The Message. It says Christ “became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood.” He came to us—met us where we were. In Jesus' case, the neighborhood was a rural, agricultural society in first century Palestine. He immersed himself in that culture. He wore the clothes, used the language, and illustrated his stories with the signs and symbols of the day to communicate the Gospel of an upside down kingdom here on earth.
If Jesus physically entered twenty-first century America, I believe he would do much as he did in the first century. He would hang out with normal people in the real world, and he would reserve his strongest words for the entrenched religious leaders who love their traditions more than they love their people. I believe he expects no less from us.
The goal of Pop Goes the Church is to stretch your thinking. If you have bought into the belief that church is exclusively for building up the believers, I want you to reconsider. If you think a church service cannot help believers grow AND be attractive to non-believers, I want to convince you that it can. If you have never experienced a church service that stays true to the Bible AND is comfortable for your non-religious friends and you don't think it is even possible, I want you to explore the possibility. The community around you is dying without Jesus, and it is your God-ordained duty to wrestle until you find the best way to reach them. And once you do, don't apologize. "
Check Out the book POP GOES THE CHURCH by Tim Stevens, I dare you!
My Comments:
It is time we valued our neighbours relationship to God more than our own needs for religious comfort. It is time for the church to learn to colour outside the lines of our narrow mindedness about what is or is not worship. It is time to get real and be relevant about our relationship to Jesus Christ and His relevancy to the "pop culture" of today.
It is pretty scary when the American Idol contestants can sing a worship song as their opening number and the church is still debating about the relevance of POP CULTURE in our services. Even the great Idol marketing machine understands the significance of relating to various cultural groups to get their message out!
Get relevant, get real or go home...actually it is DIE!
The church has a God given obligation to reach this generation,with out compromising the truth that she has inherited. Methods change,the message remains the same. Methods change, the mission must never change.
What is happening at your church that is worth talking about? When people leave your service, are they thinking about the e-mails they need to send and the football game they want to watch—or are they thinking deeply about their own choices and thinking how they might make a difference in some one's life this week?
Sadly, for most of us, the answer is a resounding “no.” We didn't even have to think that long about the answer. Our church is great for our friends, our family, and us, but there is little measurable impact on the community. There is little happening that is making a difference outside of the few dozen or couple hundred who regularly attend.
Wouldn't it be great if a local church had a vision big enough to capture people's hearts and motivate them to action, so it had an impact on the community? Wouldn't it be awesome if a church was so effective people began following Jesus, growing in their faith, and as a result, the community was being loved and served?
I love the way John 1:14 is written in The Message. It says Christ “became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood.” He came to us—met us where we were. In Jesus' case, the neighborhood was a rural, agricultural society in first century Palestine. He immersed himself in that culture. He wore the clothes, used the language, and illustrated his stories with the signs and symbols of the day to communicate the Gospel of an upside down kingdom here on earth.
If Jesus physically entered twenty-first century America, I believe he would do much as he did in the first century. He would hang out with normal people in the real world, and he would reserve his strongest words for the entrenched religious leaders who love their traditions more than they love their people. I believe he expects no less from us.
The goal of Pop Goes the Church is to stretch your thinking. If you have bought into the belief that church is exclusively for building up the believers, I want you to reconsider. If you think a church service cannot help believers grow AND be attractive to non-believers, I want to convince you that it can. If you have never experienced a church service that stays true to the Bible AND is comfortable for your non-religious friends and you don't think it is even possible, I want you to explore the possibility. The community around you is dying without Jesus, and it is your God-ordained duty to wrestle until you find the best way to reach them. And once you do, don't apologize. "
Check Out the book POP GOES THE CHURCH by Tim Stevens, I dare you!
My Comments:
It is time we valued our neighbours relationship to God more than our own needs for religious comfort. It is time for the church to learn to colour outside the lines of our narrow mindedness about what is or is not worship. It is time to get real and be relevant about our relationship to Jesus Christ and His relevancy to the "pop culture" of today.
It is pretty scary when the American Idol contestants can sing a worship song as their opening number and the church is still debating about the relevance of POP CULTURE in our services. Even the great Idol marketing machine understands the significance of relating to various cultural groups to get their message out!
Get relevant, get real or go home...actually it is DIE!
The church has a God given obligation to reach this generation,with out compromising the truth that she has inherited. Methods change,the message remains the same. Methods change, the mission must never change.
Monday, April 7, 2008
The Age of Entitlement is Dead
The age of entitlement is dead. People in positions of leadership should no longer expect preferential treatment due to their positional authority. If anything there has been a major decline in societies view of its' leaders. Just check out the late night circuit and check how often people in once esteemed and untouchable positions, are now routinely criticized and made a mockery of. The president of the USA is made out to be a dummy with a less that average I.Q. Here in Canada the leader of the opposition, Stephan Dion is portrayed as a "dorky" school boy.
Once upon a time society respected its leaders and were delighted at the thought of rewarding them with the odd perk now an again. Well, that day is gone. Maybe that's a good thing! Perhaps some people in positions of leadership have brought this on themselves. Or maybe times have changed, maybe we are tired of the abuses of power.
There was a time right here in Sudbury Ontario where my Dad would receive a complimentary 10% clergy discount from such establishments as Eaton's and Silvermans ( down on Elm).
Parishioners would bring in the odd chicken, or a dozen eggs, even a roast or two. But in those days wages for clergy were sub standard and people did what they could to help out. In those days public service was just that, public service. People provided perks for hard working underpaid servants of the public good. Well, hard working may still apply ,but underpaid has gone the way of vinyl records.
Even most clergy in this modern era receive a reasonable wage for their service to God and their parishioners.
So where does that leave us with this entitlement issue. If you expect it, you are probably out of luck. If you think you deserve it, you are definitely out of luck. What do you think if we just become equals. And if at some special time we receive some special treatment that is over and above our expectations we can learn to be grateful again and rejoice in the unexpected love shown to us by people who think enough about us to let us know we are special to them today.
Once upon a time society respected its leaders and were delighted at the thought of rewarding them with the odd perk now an again. Well, that day is gone. Maybe that's a good thing! Perhaps some people in positions of leadership have brought this on themselves. Or maybe times have changed, maybe we are tired of the abuses of power.
There was a time right here in Sudbury Ontario where my Dad would receive a complimentary 10% clergy discount from such establishments as Eaton's and Silvermans ( down on Elm).
Parishioners would bring in the odd chicken, or a dozen eggs, even a roast or two. But in those days wages for clergy were sub standard and people did what they could to help out. In those days public service was just that, public service. People provided perks for hard working underpaid servants of the public good. Well, hard working may still apply ,but underpaid has gone the way of vinyl records.
Even most clergy in this modern era receive a reasonable wage for their service to God and their parishioners.
So where does that leave us with this entitlement issue. If you expect it, you are probably out of luck. If you think you deserve it, you are definitely out of luck. What do you think if we just become equals. And if at some special time we receive some special treatment that is over and above our expectations we can learn to be grateful again and rejoice in the unexpected love shown to us by people who think enough about us to let us know we are special to them today.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Never Complain About What You Permit to Exist
I deliberately stayed away from announcing a New Years resolution. Best reason; they don't work, for me.
I have found that resolutions relieve the guilty feelings I have a bout doing nothing, about something, that bothers me. But nothing ever changes. So here we have a dilemma. I will complain about something that bothers me. I will make a resolution to change whatever it is that bothers me. I will keep the resolution for at least two days. Guilt assuaged! I can now go back to complaining about what bothers me. The very act of complaining makes me feel like I am doing something about what is bothering me. And so the cycle of self deception continues...and nothing ever changes.So here's the deal. Either change whats bothering you or shut up about it. Hence the world famous saying "never complain about what you permit to exist."
In personal life this means taking an honest assessment of where you are in life, or weight, or career, or relationship and making a straight forward choice. Change it or stuff it! But stop complaining about it.
In business life the same principal applies. If you are not prepared to take action about what you are complaining about, then stop complaining. Do something or shut up.
This simple concept of not complaining about what we permit to exist can be the catalyst that forces us to find the solution to what bothers us. Constant complaining leads to a sense of powerlessness...we are never powerless. We always have choices. Its just that some people do not like the choices that are laid out before them. So the simple solution "never complain about what you permit to exist". Change your situation. If you feel can not change your situation, change your attitude. But at least stop complaining about it.
Well, that sure told me...didn't it. I have to go and make some changes! How about you?
I have found that resolutions relieve the guilty feelings I have a bout doing nothing, about something, that bothers me. But nothing ever changes. So here we have a dilemma. I will complain about something that bothers me. I will make a resolution to change whatever it is that bothers me. I will keep the resolution for at least two days. Guilt assuaged! I can now go back to complaining about what bothers me. The very act of complaining makes me feel like I am doing something about what is bothering me. And so the cycle of self deception continues...and nothing ever changes.So here's the deal. Either change whats bothering you or shut up about it. Hence the world famous saying "never complain about what you permit to exist."
In personal life this means taking an honest assessment of where you are in life, or weight, or career, or relationship and making a straight forward choice. Change it or stuff it! But stop complaining about it.
In business life the same principal applies. If you are not prepared to take action about what you are complaining about, then stop complaining. Do something or shut up.
This simple concept of not complaining about what we permit to exist can be the catalyst that forces us to find the solution to what bothers us. Constant complaining leads to a sense of powerlessness...we are never powerless. We always have choices. Its just that some people do not like the choices that are laid out before them. So the simple solution "never complain about what you permit to exist". Change your situation. If you feel can not change your situation, change your attitude. But at least stop complaining about it.
Well, that sure told me...didn't it. I have to go and make some changes! How about you?
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Bill Gates 9 Rules for Life
These rules were first told to a high school assembly and reported in "Anchor Watch", Sept.2005
1) Life is not fair---get used to it.
2) The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3) You will not make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
4) If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
5) Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping---they called it opportunity.
6) If you mess up, it's not your parents fault; so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7) Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they will give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
8) Television is not real life. in real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
9) Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
There is so much truth in here, every student, perhaps every person should read and heed these.
1) Life is not fair---get used to it.
2) The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3) You will not make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
4) If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
5) Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping---they called it opportunity.
6) If you mess up, it's not your parents fault; so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7) Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they will give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
8) Television is not real life. in real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
9) Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
So there you have it...i think I'll vote for #7 as my fav.
What about you?
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Don't Burst Your Bubble
One thing I have been learning about dreams, or a vision if you will, is that you don't really get to own the dream. A dream is like a gift from the God, or the creator. The dream is not really yours, but His. You don't really own it, you just manage it on the creators behalf.
Something strange happens when we think we own a dream. When we are deluded into thinking this is my dream, then we are responsible to "make it happen", to "push it through". As we struggle and strive to make "our" dream a reality it is easy to make mistakes of timing, mistakes in judgement, compromise...fear of failure can easily turn into paralysis of thought.After all, this is my dream and if I don't accomplish this it won't get done. Many great dreams crash on the rocks of self determinism.
However, if we were to view our dream as a God given gift, something that God wants to accomplish in our world and we are simply "managers"of that dream, it is then possible for us to adopt a whole new attitude toward our dream.
A God given dream is God's way of influencing our world through us. God has the dream, God has the plan, God has the strategy. It is up to us to learn to listen, learn to "actively "wait, pursuing opportunities but with out fear, or frantic thoughts, trusting peacefully, that the same God who gave the dream to you, will fulfill the dream through you.
There is a fine line between managing a dream and owning a dream. It's much like holding a bubble in your outstretched hand. The second you close your fingers around the bubble it breaks. Dreams must be kept in an open hand, with fingers loose and a relaxed arm. Tension destroys, tightness stifles, a closed fist fights, an open hand receives.
At times Ifind myself wanting to close my hand around my fragile precious dream and then I am reminded of the words of the creator found in His instruction book to dream catchers..."He who began a good work in you will complete it". His dream, His problem. My role is to listen and to obey. Easier said than done.
Something strange happens when we think we own a dream. When we are deluded into thinking this is my dream, then we are responsible to "make it happen", to "push it through". As we struggle and strive to make "our" dream a reality it is easy to make mistakes of timing, mistakes in judgement, compromise...fear of failure can easily turn into paralysis of thought.After all, this is my dream and if I don't accomplish this it won't get done. Many great dreams crash on the rocks of self determinism.
However, if we were to view our dream as a God given gift, something that God wants to accomplish in our world and we are simply "managers"of that dream, it is then possible for us to adopt a whole new attitude toward our dream.
A God given dream is God's way of influencing our world through us. God has the dream, God has the plan, God has the strategy. It is up to us to learn to listen, learn to "actively "wait, pursuing opportunities but with out fear, or frantic thoughts, trusting peacefully, that the same God who gave the dream to you, will fulfill the dream through you.
There is a fine line between managing a dream and owning a dream. It's much like holding a bubble in your outstretched hand. The second you close your fingers around the bubble it breaks. Dreams must be kept in an open hand, with fingers loose and a relaxed arm. Tension destroys, tightness stifles, a closed fist fights, an open hand receives.
At times Ifind myself wanting to close my hand around my fragile precious dream and then I am reminded of the words of the creator found in His instruction book to dream catchers..."He who began a good work in you will complete it". His dream, His problem. My role is to listen and to obey. Easier said than done.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
The Agony of an Aborted Dream
Your dream, much like an unborn child, needs to be nurtured and developed. There is a tension that exists when a woman finds out she is pregnant and when she feels safe enough to tell the world that she is pregnant. That same tention exists when you know you have the beginnings of a really big dream. When is it safe enough to declare to the world, " I have a dream, this idea will change the world, here is the solution, I know what to do, this is it?"
On many an occasion I have spewed forth my newly formed dream into the world arround me, only to find its fragile undeveloped concepts easily discarded by people with no faith, no immagination, or no consideration for my insecurities. Some have treated my precious creation as spit, to be wiped uncermoniously from the face their minds. Most , did not recognise, that contained in my microscopic idea was a giant of a concept, and much like stepping on an ant, my creation was crushed and trampled on with out remorse or a second thought.
I have learned that there are only a few people in my life that I can trust with the "breaking news" of a hot idea. These are people with an intimate knowlege of who I am, who have proven they can treat my most precious dreams, and thereby treat me, with encouragement, gentleness, and wonder. They are the people in my life who have learned not to laugh out loud when the impossible is proposed. They have learned that dreams need gestation time.That ridicule is the poison of the abortionist. That everything great was once and embryo and that some of my dreams do come true. They have learned that dreams are living entities and the laws of life and death apply as much to an idea as they do to a fetus.
I am learning one of the greatest laws of the universe, and that is the law of timing. I still experience the excitement when I have been impregnated by a dream, but in the early days I am content to experience it growing in my mind, to sense its development, to spend time alone with it.Because one day this living, growing life altering dream will be birthed for all the world to see. I will never again have the opportunity to be alone with my dream, and watch in wonder as God unfolds its marvels one step at a time, for once my dream is born it is no longer mine but the worlds.
On many an occasion I have spewed forth my newly formed dream into the world arround me, only to find its fragile undeveloped concepts easily discarded by people with no faith, no immagination, or no consideration for my insecurities. Some have treated my precious creation as spit, to be wiped uncermoniously from the face their minds. Most , did not recognise, that contained in my microscopic idea was a giant of a concept, and much like stepping on an ant, my creation was crushed and trampled on with out remorse or a second thought.
I have learned that there are only a few people in my life that I can trust with the "breaking news" of a hot idea. These are people with an intimate knowlege of who I am, who have proven they can treat my most precious dreams, and thereby treat me, with encouragement, gentleness, and wonder. They are the people in my life who have learned not to laugh out loud when the impossible is proposed. They have learned that dreams need gestation time.That ridicule is the poison of the abortionist. That everything great was once and embryo and that some of my dreams do come true. They have learned that dreams are living entities and the laws of life and death apply as much to an idea as they do to a fetus.
I am learning one of the greatest laws of the universe, and that is the law of timing. I still experience the excitement when I have been impregnated by a dream, but in the early days I am content to experience it growing in my mind, to sense its development, to spend time alone with it.Because one day this living, growing life altering dream will be birthed for all the world to see. I will never again have the opportunity to be alone with my dream, and watch in wonder as God unfolds its marvels one step at a time, for once my dream is born it is no longer mine but the worlds.
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